Ups and downs

March 15th, 2012 → 2:05 pm @ Norman // No Comments

Most weeks in the company-building game I have ups and downs, and this week has also seen both highs and lows.  I am always mildly surprised by the intensity of my reaction to the low points.  Even though I’ve preached to young entrepreneurs for years about the need to accept a great deal of failure and rejection on the path to success, and even though I know from decades of experience that it’s the truth, I still find both failure and rejection inordinately painful.

Sales rejection is fine… that’s part of the process. But I find it hard when people I expect to ‘get it’, don’t get it at all… or appear not to.  I’m talking about Angel Investors and Entrepreneurs.  These are the peer groups I look to with puppy-dog optimism for validation that the horses I’m backing are winners.

This week I asked an investor who I respect for his frankness to give me an opinion of a startup I’ve just begun backing.  “Dog-tucker” he said.  I was wounded.  I’d enthusiastically pitched the business concept, and shown him what we’d achieved already.  He furrowed his brows at me to show he wasn’t just making throw-away comments; “The horse is fine.  You should shoot the jockey, but he’s attached too tightly to the horse…so shoot the horse.”

The entrepreneur did have significant weaknesses, but I thought I’d structured the business to manage those.  I was deflated and concerned.  When I got home, the company’s founder (the jockey stuck on the horse) rang me to tell me sales were going very well.  We should hit break-even within the next month.  That’s not bad for a company that’s two months old.  I felt okay again.

A cup of coffee, and a few minutes’ navel-gazing led me to the root of my emotional turmoil.  Although I no longer have the driving fear of imminent poverty to motivate me, I still have significant fear drivers… enough to keep me sharp in the game.  I know a proportion of my start-ups will fail, but I care passionately about each.  Even when I’m a minor investor (which I usually am) I feel responsible for the success of the company’s rollout.  If I’ve invited friends to invest with me, that sense of responsibility increases even more.  I don’t want to let down the other investors or the founder. So, when someone I respect tells me to ‘shoot the jockey’, I take it seriously.

Occasionally I consider retiring from the game; becoming a passive investor, or not investing at all.  The thought of leaving the game is more of a downer than any bad news or negative feedback I get in a week.  This week’s ‘ups’ included a couple of major sales results, an important new technology acquisition, and enthusiasm for one of my companies from investors.  Where else would I get so many cool ‘ups’!!  So, I’ll enjoy the ups, and continue to try to learn from the downs.


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